going forward
People are always misinterpreting my e-mails. What am I doing wrong?
The Esquire guy suggests we all could benefit
from a Robert De Niro approach to e-mailing
Let’s assume you’re not stupid or a jerk or weird—that you’re not misspelling every other word or ending every
thought with “OK???!!!!” or citing
Hopi Indian blessings in their original
tongue. Let’s assume instead that you
are either brusque or long-winded.
A FEW WORDS ON BRUSQUENESS
The best e-mail replies involve one
word: “Yes.” Can you do lunch today?
New exclamation point guidelines
Proposed new meanings for the most abused punctuation mark
Currently accepted meanings:
Proposed meanings:
!
Mild enthusiasm,
possibly feigned.
This is so exciting.
!!
!!!
Legitimate mild enthusiasm.
This is revolutionary.
Moderate enthusiasm.
I am literally about to
pass out from excitement.
!!!!
Considerable enthusiasm.
I’m serious. I’m literally passing
out right now.
!!!!!
“Maybe by typing so many ex-
clamation points I can convince
myself that such excitement is
actually warranted.”
Seriously, I’m in bad shape here.
Call 911.
!!!!!!
“What the hell—I’m just
going to throw in some more
exclamation points.”
No, wait. I’m feeling better. But
seriously, this is really exciting.
“Yes.” At 1: 30? “Yes.” Chinese place?
“Yes.” This kind of e-mail chain reads
like the last paragraph of James Joyce’s
Ulysses, but that’s OK—it’s a great
book. Anyway, the best thing about
“Yes” is that it prevents a comeback.
When you say “Yes” you eliminate
so much back and forth. Which is
efficient. The risk, of course, is that
you hurt people’s feelings. But that’s a
risk worth taking. When it comes to
e-mailing—especially when it comes to
business—feelings are overrated.
Turns out there’s a movement
afoot. Chris Anderson, curator of the
groundbreaking and influential TED
Conferences, drew up a document a
few months back. He calls it “The
Email Charter: 10 Rules to Reverse
the Email Spiral.” The document’s
main concern is basic consideration
for others’ time, so there are rules like
“Celebrate clarity,” “Slash surplus
CC’s,” etc. But the best one is this:
“Short or slow is not rude.” The idea
is: We should stop taking things so
personally. Relax. If the e-mail response is curt or if it takes a long time
coming, relax.
“We need to assume everyone has
an over-brimming inbox and a life
they want to get on with,” Anderson
told us while actually speaking on a
telephone. “It’s just e-mail.”
